we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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