It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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