But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
