I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
