Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
