Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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