I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize