SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
