Jerry, you need to find god
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
