I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
