Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
