yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize