Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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