ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
