Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
