He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
