so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
