it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize