whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
