she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
