I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
