Little spoons don't ask big questions
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
