I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
