i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize