If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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