Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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