If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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