I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
