i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They are going to name an STD after you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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