ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
