is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
