He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize