I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
