I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
