Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
