Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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