I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
