I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
