My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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