i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
