Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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