porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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