Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
