if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
