Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
