He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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