I will die if light touches me.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
