And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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