took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
