I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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