can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
