ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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