did you get engaged???
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
