Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
