i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
