i just had sex bonerless
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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