We're facebook friends in real life
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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