There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
