Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
