I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize