If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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