Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
