That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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