Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize