I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
