i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
