my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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