After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize