just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
