We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
