I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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